I always enjoy reading the product descriptions on Woot—it’s a much more satisfying experience than shopping on the site, which often results in the receipt of a random bag o’ crap (not that they don’t warn you about that, of course). And today’s blurb is particularly sweet: it’s a write-up of a window thermometer, told from the perspective of Blade Runner’s Deckard (of the original, cheesy, voice-over cut):
I always heard the La Crosse Technology See-Thru Outdoor Window Thermometers were solitary. Turned out these two were a pair. They stood side by side, taking readings that were close, but not exact. They shared everything. They even shared the trip to Earth.
Excellent! And utterly pointless, which makes it even better. A couple of years ago, I did my own Blade Runner parody in an Engadget write-up about a Philip K. Dick robot. Mine was, of course, much more obvious, but was still something of a kick to write. So, herewith, a modest proposal: How about a “Bad Blade Runner” contest, modeled after the infamous Bad Hemingway tournament. Of course, given that the BR voiceovers are so bad to begin with, outdoing them might be a challenge. However, now that the voiceovers have been relegated to the dustbin of history (or at least disc no. 49 of the ultimate, deluxe Blade Runner edition), it’s up to the fans to keep their legacy alive. Otherwise, all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.