Totally tubular
Much fun has been had at the expense of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, who recently referred to the Internet as a “series of tubes.” And, while it is fun to mock the Senator for his awkward metaphor and curious use of the term “Internet” as a proxy for email (“an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday”), Stevens’ real lack of understanding comes elsewhere in his remarks. The fact is, the Internet has been called a collection of “pipes” for years, and no one is chastised for that usage. “Tube,” as Webster’s points out, is an acceptable synonym for pipe. As far as I’m concerned, the troubling thing about Stevens’ speech isn’t his clumsy attempt at allegory, but rather his total lack of understanding of how TCP/IP networks function. No, the Internet isn’t like a big truck, as the Senator pointed out. But as a collection of tubes, or pipes, it relies on an ingenious architecture and series of protocols designed to split data into packets that travel independently along the network. So, yes, extensive use of multimedia may slow things down (try using a corporate network right after someone has sent a mass email directing everyone in the office to the latest Mentos video), but your message isn’t going to have to “get in line” behind other material and wait for it to be finished before you can receive it. Packet switching networks are designed specifically to avoid that sort of delay, and the Internet (and its predecessors) have been doing so successfully since the early 1970s. So, let’s cut Stevens some slack on “tubes,” but not for his failure to understand the basic architecture of the network he’s in charge of regulating. And let’s continue to fight for Net Neutrality, even if we have to stuff every tube with Internets of protest to get the concept enshrined in law.
